Mom Confession Monday

Ok, friends. It’s here…MOM CONFESSION MONDAY!  The spirit of Mom Confession Monday is two-fold. First, to add a little humor to the start of the week. Monday is the worst, but hopefully these confessions help get your week off to a good start. Second, to prove that we are never alone. If you have something to confession, chances are I have been there too.

Here are the top 10 Mom Confessions submitted by readers and followers of Mommy Diatribes. We’re a sick bunch 🙂

10. I allow my 4-year-old to ‘watch’ his 1-year-old baby brother wayyyyy more than I should. In my head I think ‘he’s fine!’ But he’s not!

9. I’ve accidentally stolen things from Target on more than one occasion. I’m not proud. I check out with two wild kids and end up unloading the loot into the car only to realize I accidentally stole eye liner, or a sippy cup. One time it was a greeting card AND nail polish. For the record, it never happens when I’m alone.

8. Whenever I’m eating something that I don’t want to share with the kids, I tell them I’m eating broccoli. Because what kid would choose to snack on broccoli?

7. I put on a show for the kids to watch and tell them I’m cleaning the bathroom, when in reality I’m hiding in the bathroom and painting my nails in peace.

6. Sometimes I tell my daughter that there is bird poop on her swing so I don’t have to push her 10 million times a day!

5.  I repeat sippy cups. Sometimes multiple days in a row. Doesn’t it stay fresh if I put it in the refrigerator? Maybe not…

4. When my kids are screaming in the car (or just when they’ve said my name for the 1000 time in a 10-minute ride) I turn the music up loud enough that I can’t hear them.

3. Sometimes when I’m distracted I trust my 4-year-old when he tells me he wiped really well. As we all know, time always tells.

2. My daughter is scared shit-less of Home Depot. We went last year around the holidays and this blow-up Christmas decoration scared her to tears. When she is being really uncooperative, I tell her we have to take a trip to Home Depot. It immediately works. Yes, I hate praying on my child’s fears but I would rather her be afraid of Home Depot (let’s be honest, I hate that place too) then the police, or a doctor, or some other real-life character.

1. I’ve always told my kids that the candy and treats at the grocery store check-out lines are dog treats. People always give me confused looks when they hear me say it and I give them back the ‘I will cut you if you rat me out’ face. That’s one way to get the candy whining to stop!

Number 1! It made me laugh out loud. Why haven’t I thought of that?!? That’s what Mom Confession Monday is all about, friends. There were so many more – I could have had a top 20, or even 30. A few that deserve honorable mention? Pretending to go to the bathroom and instead hiding and reading a magazine! Hiding in the laundry room to sneak cookies and snacks. Apparently we do a lot of hiding. Throwing away broken toys or donating others and then lying to the kids when they ask about said toys.  One mommy, and I do this too, takes the long way home whenever she is in the car alone. Another momma confessed to going to see  a midnight showing of Beauty and the Beast alone, without her 3 daughters, just so she could actually enjoy the movie. Jealous! There were 3 confessions about pulling the ‘Santa’ card, starting in August or September. The list goes on and on.

Thank you to everyone who participated and played along! Mom Confession Monday is going to be a monthly series on Mommy Diatribes so if you didn’t submit a confession this month, you’ll have another opportunity soon.

I have a confession hidden in the top 10 list, can you guess which one? I’ll let you know next month when I’m feeling really brave, but today just isn’t that day 🙂

Mommy Diatribes