Google, I’m going to go ahead and speak for mother’s everywhere when I say…we love you, but we also really, really hate you.
Once you become a mother Google becomes a trusted friend and a morbid enemy. We want answers to why our babies eating habits recently changed. So, we google it. We are curious why our toddler bites everything in sight. Google that sh*t. What is this rash covering my babies body? Google! The only problem is our trusted friend, Google, gives the worst answers ever. Yes, sure, the resources found on Google can be helpful at times and at the very least help us make the decision on whether or not to call the doctor, poison control, psych ward, etc. But more often times than not, Google provides the wrong answers. The doom and gloom answers, answers that lead to horrible and incorrect self-diagnoses, answers that lead us down dark roads and cause serious anxiety. That rash on your toddler’s belly? It could be teething. OR, google says it could be the mumps. No big deal.
We love Google for helping us find the best pizza shop in NYC or the most comfortable pair of jeans. Need a good book recommendation? Google that. But don’t google ‘Hand Foot and Mouth’ or you will be met with the most horrific symptoms and pictures to boot. Have you ever googled ‘reaction to vaccinations?’ Just don’t. You’ll be lead down a rabbit hole of photos, forums and ‘advice’ that you will never be able to fully erase from memory, no matter your stance on the topic. First time mom’s, don’t you dare google ‘sleep regression’ because the answers you’ll be given, even if true, will legit make you cry. Definitely do not google a list of specific symptoms. Those symptoms will lead you to a WebMD page and nothing good happens to a mom scouring through WebMD.
When we were babies if we had a rash, our mom’s would remedy it with whatever old wives tale their mother had passed down, or, or….they would CALL THE DOCTOR. You know, the one with the medical degree?!? Have we made things harder on ourselves by having access to all of this information? Makes me wonder if our mother’s way may have been the better way. Maybe ignorance really is bliss.
Do you think doctor’s love or hate Google? They probably LOVE that their offices receive less calls about every minor little aliment but I’m sure they HATE when a parent diagnoses their child before even being seen. My children’s pediatrician has told me on multiple occasions ‘Don’t believe everything you read on the internet’ or ‘Do not google this.’ Do we listen? Nope. Google is directly at our fingertips at all times and we take full advantage.
Do the execs at Google know the added stress they cause mothers on the daily? You think they sit in their Santa Clara, CA offices (yep, I googled the location of Google HQ) and laugh about the paranoia they’ve caused? I wonder if Google has a definition for ‘momanoia’ because they certainly helped create it!
I mean, sure, you are an online dictionary. An endless source of information. Congrats. But, Google, you are also a real contradictory a-hole. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll keep typing into that entertaining search bar. How else will I help my kids with their homework or find out the capital of North Dakota or answer my 5-year-old when she asks how fast a cheetah can run? How else would I get that information? I don’t own a set of encyclopedias. What would be the next option? The library? Nah. I’ll google it.
Mommy Diatribes
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