I’m Tired. Are you Tired?

I see you, the tired mommy dropping your kids off at preschool with a baby on your hip. I see you. I’ve been there and I’m still there. We are one in the same. We have so much in common and yet we’ll probably never talk about it. Why? Because who really wants to admit that they are so tired they feel a little ashamed? Our babies sleep through the night. We should be celebrating, but instead we’re left wondering how in god’s name we could still be tired. The exhaustion does not end with the baby phase. Did you hear me? The exhaustion doesn’t end with the baby phase. We need no excuse to be exhausted. 

The exhaustion of motherhood begins at conception. Mother nature’s cruel way of supposedly preparing us for when the baby arrives, when in reality, nothing could prepare you. Nothing could possibly prepare you for the overwhelming love, the joy, the fear and the exhaustion. It’s a packaged deal, friends. The first few weeks you walk around in an absolute fog and wonder ‘will I ever sleep again.’ Now nothing can compare to the exhaustion of those first few weeks and months. But will you ever sleep again? Well, sort of.

The often undiscussed myth of parenthood? That a sleeping baby equals a rested mommy. I’m calling BS on that. Just because your baby or toddler is sleeping through the night, doesn’t mean you aren’t exhausted.You may be getting 6, 7 or 8 hours of sleep versus 3. But you are exhausted just the same. A sleeping baby or toddler just means you end being awake for different reasons. You try to get to bed early because the exhaustion is so real but your brain is so ON. So you read a book or watch some mindless TV until 11PM. You think to yourself ‘I’m going to regret this in the morning.’ 1AM hits and the baby is unsettled so you get up to check. The toddler has a bad dream, or needs a drink, or has to use the potty. Someone is coughing. You let it go at first but end up lying in bed, awake and worried. So you get up to check. The baby slept all night but woke up at 4:30AM and that’s an ungodly hour to be up and expected to be ‘on.’ The baby will go back to sleep at some point, but you won’t. You have things to do, other kids to care for, a job to get to, a house to clean, lunches to pack, a husband that deserves more than a ‘hello’ in passing.

Working moms are tired from the rat race. Waking kids up, rushing through the morning routine. Rushing out the door from work to pick up the kids. Coming home to make dinner, clean dishes, focus on your children, give baths and rush again through bedtime. Stay-at-home-moms are tired from having to be ‘on’ ALL THE TIME. Tired of waiting on little people all day long. Tired of walking out of a room only to hear ‘MOM’ the second they are out of sight. Tired from the toddler talk and constant battle picking. We are all just tired.

Motherhood is exhausting in all forms. It is physically, emotionally and mentally exhausting. It is a 24-hour a day job that doesn’t care how much or how little you slept the night before, doesn’t care if you’ve had a horrible day at work or if you’re sick. But, like all things beautiful, the good far outweighs the bad. The beauty of motherhood is that despite how exhausting it may be, we figure it out. We power through. We are beyond powerful. These little people give us a smile, or say something sweet, or give us a hug, or treat their sibling with kindness at just the right time. They may be the ones putting us deep into the fog, but they are also the ones that pull us out.

So, to you, the tired mommy with the baby on your hip. When someone asks ‘Why are you so tired?’ You say, ‘because I’m a Mom and I don’t need any other reason.’ Next time in the preschool drop-off line, maybe we’ll chat about mom life because we have so much in common. And I’m tired too. We’re someone’s mother, someone’s Safe Place, and that’s reason enough. We need to remember, in the fog of it all, that we’ll be well rested eventually…I don’t know when, but someday, friends.

Mommy Diatribes