Making friends is tricky business. While we worry about sending our littles off to school or daycare, hoping they make friends, hoping they choose kindness and hoping that others are kind to them, we never really consider that as adults, we’re in the same position. Making mom-friends is really tricky business.
Interacting with a mom you’ve never met is like the first day of high school all over again. Maybe even like your first real date, minus the super awkward ‘kiss’ at the end of the night. You may be a little nervous or shy. You don’t want to say too much and scare the potential new mom friend, but you also don’t want to not say enough. Walking fine lines. You JUST met, so you definitely don’t want them to hear your mean mom voice, so your patient, half-fake mom voice takes over. You are struggling to find conversation between snack requests, crying and bathroom breaks but you are doing your best. Maybe you will never see that mom again or maybe she’ll become a life-line. Which is why you should never ignore a potential new mom friend. She may end up fitting into your life and serving a very important purpose. Here are 5 Mom Friends that without knowing it, you probably already have in your life and if you don’t, you should…
The In-Passing Mom
This is the mom that you run into everywhere you go. You see her at Target, in the grocery store, in line at the car wash. You see her and her kids everywhere. You know each other’s names, you have a few friends in common and you follow each other on Facebook. But, you don’t really her at all outside of those few commonalities. The funny thing about this mom? You may not know her, but you’ve seen one another at your absolute best and absolute worst. She has witnessed your child’s epic Target meltdowns and you’ve seen one of her kids running in a crowded parking lot. Instead of judging, you just say hello, smile at one another, exchange sarcastic pleasantries and move along. One may argue that the In-Passing Mom isn’t really a friend at all, but I beg to differ. In this sisterhood of motherhood anyone who can turn a blind eye to my child’s lack of grocery store etiquette is a friend I want for forever. Never underestimate the In-Passing Mom.
The Playground or Preschool Mom
This is the mom that you see every day at preschool drop-off or every Friday at the playground. You LOVE this mom but also love that you don’t know too much about one another. You know her children’s name and vice versa. You know a few details about her personal life, but you’ve never been to her house or met her husband. It’s an arms-length type of relationship but not purposefully. You are both ridiculously busy and who has time to add another texting relationship into their lives? But you love this mom just the same. You may only see her in passing or at the park, but it’s pleasant and sweet chatter…which is sometimes all we want or need.
The Coworker Mom
THIS MOM! You spend more time with her than you do almost anyone else in your life. Because of that fact, this girl knows it all. She attended your baby shower, knows all about each one of your children’s deliveries, knows what you eat for lunch and how you take your coffee. She not only understands how you feel about your obnoxious boss, but she knows your boss…one of the very few people in your life who can say that. She may see your children on special occasions, or she may never meet them at all. Doesn’t matter, because she knows all. Coworker Mom Friends have a very special connection and for good reason. Who else would know details of your child’s recent well visit AND about the weird guy from accounting who drinks too much at work happy hour’s. That is a special friend, right there.
The Close but not too Close Mom
This is a mom friend who you’ve had playdates with, your kids know each other and they get along pretty well. If your kid had an epic meltdown at her house you would be a little embarrassed but not too embarrassed to never see her again. You text fairly often, your friends. She knows none of your secrets, which could be a bad thing or a really, really good thing. She knows all things about your crazy kids but has no clue about your crazy family and will more than likely never meet your mom. She’s close to being the perfect friend…close enough, but not too close.
One of my Mecca Mom Friends.
The Mecca Mom
This is the friend of all friends, even if you don’t realize it. This is the mom friend who you don’t have to clean for. This is the mom friend that doesn’t judge, loves your kids despite their sometimes shitty behavior and never, ever makes you feel guilty about how you parent your children. This is the mom friend that knows some of the parenting skeletons you have hiding in your closet. If we’re basing the Mecca Mom off of that last sentence alone, then all of you reading this are my Mecca Mom’s because you know some legit secrets about me. She knows that you’ve sleep trained, fed your babies formula, she knows your ridiculously strong stance on vaccines, and she knows that in this parenting game, you are basically winging-it! She even knows about that crazy Spring Break trip you took in college, you know, the one that you’ve made a habit of never speaking ok. She’s knows. She is the Mecca of all Mom friends.
Every and any type of mom friend is important. This isn’t about labeling or creating barriers, it’s about proving that no matter the type of Mom friends you may have, each are important and each serve a purpose. Sometimes the In-Passing Mom, the person who barely seems like a friend at all, is just as important as a Mecca Mom. And who knows, maybe your current In-Passing friend, who gives you some sort of strange comfort when you run into her, will eventually mean much more to you.
The awkwardness of a first (play)date is hard to brush off, but give that mom a second chance no matter how disastrous it plays out. You may just end up finding someone who’ll give you a supportive nod in Target, someone who loves smutty books as much as you do or someone who will eventually know all your secrets and love you anyway.
Mommy Diatribes
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