My Favorite Song

You know the moment. You are in the car, loaded with kids, and your favorite song comes on the radio…You let out an excited gasp, turn up the volume and prepare to sing your little heart out.

My current fav!

Child: Mom….Mom…MOM…MOM. Are you listening to me?

Inner-self: Well, no. I’m not listening to you. I’m trying to listen to my favorite song. [Turns down the volume just enough to hear the 5 year old in the backseat]

Self: Sure, what’s up? 

Child: Umm. Umm. Do you see that car over there? It’s green. 

Inner-self: I don’t care about the damn car. Or what color it is. Is she doing this on purpose? She knows this is my favorite song and she’s ruining it on purpose.

Self: Yup, I see the car. Ok, let’s take a minute and be quiet. Ok?

Child: OK. 

Inner-self: Ahh! Proceeds to sing, very off-key. But who cares. This is my favorite song! [Rolls the windows down and all worries start to drown away] 

Child: MOM. MOM! Mommy. Mommy. MOMMMM-Y [Image Stewie from the Family Guy commercial]

Inner-self: [Rolls up windows, turns down music, attempts to maintain patience while SCREAMING on the inside]

Self: Yes? 

Child: Umm. Umm. Umm. Umm. I forgot. 

Inner-self: Ok, turn the radio up higher. She’ll get the point. [Turn up the volume, rolls down the windows]

Child: Mom. Isn’t that where dad used to play soccer? 

Inner-self: Yes, that is where daddy used to play soccer. You know that and I know that. You want to know why? Because you ask me every.single.day. This is the second time you’ve asked me today! The world is conspiring against me today…[Turns volume down again, while trying to maintain patience]

Self: What? Yup. Ok, let’s have a few minutes of quiet time. Just a few minutes. We’ll be home in 2 minutes, then we can chat. 

Child: Ok, mom. Got it. 

Inner-Self: Ok, I think she gets it.

Song is over. 

I know it’s happened to you too. You want to know what song I was listening too? Ahh. It doesn’t matter, I’ll never get to hear it uninterrupted again. If my favorite song was by Taylor Swift or off of the Trolls soundtrack, this would never happen.

Mommy Diatribes