Raising a toddler is a game of survival. It is the highest of highs brought on by these amazing little people and it is the lowest of lows, brought on by the same amazing little people, turned into wild, unreasonable, animals. It’s not a roller coaster, it is climbing Mount Everest.
So, what do us momma’s need to survive? We need help, a lot of love and a little hope to get us through. That’s the G-rated version but let’s be serious. The G-rated version never captures the full picture. That’s where I come in. So, I’ll ask again. What do us momma’s need to survive? We need a vice, a village, an escape, laughter and hell of a lot of hope…
A Vice
We all have them and most of the time a vice is considered a bad thing, but not when raising a toddler. Find your vice – not a dangerous one. Maybe it’s coffee, maybe it’s a horrible TV show that you simply cannot turn off, maybe it’s a single glass of wine. Whatever your vice, find it, enjoy, relish in it and use it carefully. Mine just happens to be coffee and a good book.
A total crap-shoot.
A Village
We’ve chatted about The Village before. We all need a village to rely and fall back on at times. We need a person to call in the middle of the night when one baby has to be rushed to ER with a fever of 104. We need a person who will watch the kids in a pinch when the sitter backs out right before an important meeting. We a need a person to vent too when the walls start closing in. We need a person who can remind us that outside of the kids, we are still people. We all need a life-line and that’s what a village is for.
An Escape
Yes, find something that takes you out of mommy-mode and into I-remember-who-I-am-mode. It would be all sorts of self-sacrificing to pretend that we need absolutely nothing outside of our children, but it would also be a flat-out lie. Find your escape. Find something that’s your own. Maybe you are someone who gets lost in a good book (me, me!) or gets lost in really ridiculous TV medical dramas (again, me!) or maybe you need to exercise every day to feel like yourself. Maybe work is your escape. Schedule a monthly girl’s night, go get a pedicure alone, walk through target with a hot coffee and no kids. You’ll be surprised once you start carving out things for yourself, how even the smallest things that can feel like a much needed recharge.
A Sense of Humor
This is an easy one. To survive raising a toddler, you’ll need a sense of humor. Plain and simple. If you can’t laugh, you are going to cry. Well, scratch that. You are going to cry no matter what. There will be tears on both ends. But if you cannot laugh, you’ll be crying all too often. Laugh often – it is a key to survival.
Double time-outs.
A Hell of a lot of Hope
Yup. Raising a toddler will never go as you planned. You’ll need a heavy dose of hope to get through it all. Hope that you are making the right choices. Hope that you aren’t raising maniacs. Hope that you’ll get through the day without losing your mind. Hope that tomorrow will be better. Hope that you are doing all you can to raise these babies right. So much hope. Hold on to it because there are many days when you will be tested, pushed to the brink and then brought back down to earth by sweet toddler kisses. Raising a toddler is one beautiful contradiction – always have hope by your side.
I’ve always been jealous of the moms who have the balls to use the toddler leash. I see them in public and my initial thought is ‘what in the world…’ and then it hits me. Those women are genius. I may not have added ‘toddler leash’ to the list, but it’s a close fifth along with straight-jacket’s, ear plugs and an endless supply of hand sanitizer and Lysol.
Raising a toddler is not about thriving, it’s about surviving. So, do whatever you have to do to get through. Find your vice, your village, your sense of humor and your escape. Hold onto hope and buy the damn toddler leash if you are ballsy enough.
Mommy Diatribes
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