There is a myth that is running wild throughout the mommy world. Have you heard it? This myth is putting pressure on mom’s everywhere, causing tension within marriages, putting holes in bank accounts, and earning major eye-rolls from our parent’s generation. That myth? The myth of the magical childhood. The myth that has us convinced that part of our job is to create a magical childhood for our kids.
We want the best for our children, that goes without saying. We want them to learn, to grow, and we want to create memories that will stay with them for forever. We also want to create memories that will stay with us for forever. Where it gets convoluted is that there is a difference between the everyday magic, and the magic that we feel pressure to create – the magic that costs a lot of money and earns the eye rolls.
The everyday magic is in playing outside, making tents in the living room, reading books with funny voices, catching lighting bugs, and maybe eating a meal together. Jumping in mud puddles or a pile of leaves, skipping rocks into a lake, taking a walk as a family. This is the magic that our children will remember. They’ll remember that time you slide down the basement steps in pillowcases and had a sleepover in the living room. They will remember the traditions and the small but meaningful moments. Will they remember the water park, when they weren’t able to swim, swallowed a crap-ton of water and cried half the time you were there? Probably not.
Took my 3 kids to visit Santa last year. This is what I got…
We put so much pressure on ourselves to make the magic. We visit Santa Clause, the Easter Bunny and the pumpkin patch. We go to that water park, visit the zoo, go to 5 different fall festivals. We have to get those pictures with the matching outfits. We do crafts out the behind, and buy outfits for every damn holiday. I am the queen of that one, by the way. If there was a shirt for Flag Day, I would buy it. Why? So we can say that we did? So we can take the picture? Do we need the proof to feel like we’re giving our children the childhood they deserve? Is there a box that we have to check that says ‘yep, took the kids to the zoo?’ Check that box and now what’s next? Oh, no big deal, just Disney World and a ski trip to Aspen. Better start saving!
Think of what you remember about your own childhood. I would be willing to bet, the things that you remember the most and the things that you look back on most fondly did not include a zoo, an amusement park, a craft or anywhere where your parents spent an arm and a leg just to get through the door. I had an amazing childhood, from what I remember. We went (and still go) on a beautiful vacation to the Outer Banks every year. I’m sure that over the years we did some amazing things…I’m sure there was a water park thrown in there somewhere, some mini golf. But what I remember from those vacations is staying on the beach until dinner time, getting ice cream at Dairy Queen and fishing with my dad. Simple things. We went to Disney for a week. I’m sure it was super magical. All I really remember is being afraid of all the rides and the hotel swimming pool. That’s it. I remember swimming with my brothers. Magic.
Now, don’t me wrong, I’ve taken my kids to the aquarium and the zoo. We have been to the trampoline park and the local amusement attractions. I do the painting and the crafts. I’ve done it and I’m sure I will again. But what I’ve stopped doing? I’ve stopped with that mental checklist and stopped buying into the hype that it takes a trip or an amusement park to create a magical day with my kids. I’m not buyin’ it!
Ultimately, you do you. Take your kids to the zoo or Disney 18 times if that’s what makes you and your children happy. Because that is what is most important. But those who can’t, don’t or won’t, you should never feel guilty.
Let us all not forget that the real magic of childhood doesn’t have to be created, at least not purposefully. Amazing things happen when a child uses their imagination. Make the tents, have the family dinner, play hide and seek, slide down the steps in pillow cases (or don’t, because that’s actually really dangerous), have a sleepover in the living room. Let’s admit that some of the magic is for us…to see the looks on their faces, experience life along with them and get those pictures we can treasure forever. Or to just get out of the damn house. Because let’s be serious, until our kids are older, they simply won’t remember that visit to Santa or trip to Disney. Let’s also stop feeling guilty when we don’t follow that checklist or buy into the pressure. You do you. A child who has never been to an amusement park, rode a water slide or created a Pinterest masterpiece is not having any less of a childhood than those who have. That’s the myth of the magical childhood.
I’m saving some of my magic for when my kids are old enough to appreciate it. Sure, I’ll visit the pumpkin patch, take those photos, paint those pumpkins. But if we don’t make it to see Santa Clause this year, there will be no sweat off my back. My kids hate that guy and they’ll never know if the Santa picture from 2017 is missing or not.
Mommy Diatribes
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